I had a great time staying in Ireland, down the country. The old railway line is called the “Old Rail Trail” that cuts the farm in two and has an entrance onto the trail.  So many people are using it for walking, running, riding bikes, and strolling along and visiting. I saw a woman walking towards me and I thought it was her mother. I am out of the area for almost thirty five years.  It was so lovely to visit. She talked about who died at a nearby gate, not so long ago, someone I met and talked with on a previous trip, when I walked on the trail. 

I went to visit Maureen Farrell, who is related to us by marriage and was always connected to our family. Her husband was my mother’s first cousin, and was my “Godfather” in my baptism. She was the woman, who said that a certain man, who was interested in her, could come and look in her window all he wanted but could not look out her windows. I reminded her of this and we laughed together. 

She was sitting on her chair, a plaid wool rug on her legs and she was reading from her holy books. They were old books, well used and loose pages also. 

She told me a story of how she was asleep at night recently, and woke up (awake) convinced that someone was coming into her room. She pushed up onto her elbow and said “who is there?” Some neighbor, recently deceased, appeared and she asked Maureen to help her, by praying for her. She said she did not wish to tell me her name, feeling it was between her and her neighbor. She was praying for her. 

But I should have known Maureen was not long for this world, because she was half way over there already, able to see her deceased neighbor so easily. I heard Maureen died about two weeks after I returned to USA. She always made an evening tea for me when I visited, that included some home made sweet item that was very good to eat. She regretted that she could not do so now. 

When it was time to go, she got up to walk us out of her house, saying I had a very good man with me. I appreciated her words to me. May she rest in peace. I have been praying for her. Last weekend she swept into my vision, full of life and laughter with a head of curly white hair framing her face, in a slim line navy frock.

 It was truly lovely for me to get this vision of her after her passing. It was a gift to know her and see her into her nineties. I know her life was a great testament to her goodness and I appreciated her attention to me, her kindness to my mother and many others. 

A Little Dream Work – continued from last blog.

“ In the dream, I am doing needlework, together with another, knitting a hat. Our heads are touching. There is a lovely feeling of heart felt love between us… (I) connect it into my personal journey toward God, with God helping me feel this feeling of love between me and another.”

The above is from a recent dream. I neglected to tell you all of the dream. In the latter part of the dream the other woman asked me why I would not talk to her and I said that it was because of what is “pushed under the carpet.” 

I went back and forth in all kind of ways trying to say the other woman was pushing things under the carpet, but eventually, reading about envy, and how it warps things, helped me see my pushing of things under my carpet. I have my own envy of family, their love of each other, their grandkids, my parent’s farm.  

And that is what is pushed under the rug. It is not in God’s plan to give any of that inheritance to me. It never was in the cards. What is in the cards is that “God’s love within me is my native land… for you are homeless less God keeps your heart.”(John Bradburn)

Before Moses dies, in the Bible, God is talking to Moses and saying that he is upset with his people because they are God’s inheritance and those very people do not seem to know this. I found where God spoke to Aaron; “Thou shalt have no inheritance in their land , neither shalt thou have any part among them. I am thy part and thy inheritance.” I will have to wait for another read through to find the exact lines I need where God is complaining that he, God, is dependent on his people for his  inheritance.

When I look at the water colored picture, I painted, about the lovely dream I find, there is black and green in the area of the heart. The pure green is the color associated with the heart, symbolizing Love and growth and aliveness and awakening. The black laced in there is put in, unconsciously, which I am now associating with the little “black heart” denoting the heart of stone – my under the carpet stuff.

Between our heads is a good green and all around about is the blue and purples. That brought in the feeling of love between us. 

I am projecting on to the other, when I say I will not talk to her, because of what is pushed under my carpet. It is called projection, when we do not want to take responsibility for what we are doing. That is, putting under the rug, that which I do not wish to acknowledge, about my need to completely let go of any envy feelings related to inheritance issues. It was a breath of fresh air to acknowledge the issues over which I have control.  

Love from Rose Marie.