Rose Longworth Counseling

Getting Married and a Dream of Danger.

Posted on April 8, 2024 by rlongwort

During the night I thought of a particular dream shared in a dream group and I felt some strong understanding about it all, relating to a male figure. I certainly wanted to project it strongly onto its owner, that she was creating an environment that was not good within her.

The male figure relates to the Animus or inner man, in a woman’s dream. He showed up in her dream, as a prominent public figure, disliked and doing nefarious things to the environment.

The negative animus can show up as someone, who has not our best interest at heart, luring us into dangerous decisions. If we have an eating disorder or if we are suicidal, the thoughts of the negative animus are a problem.

The animus figure is based on the father of the dreamer, whether the influence is through absence or presence. At the very least a woman may take on the opinions of the father and as she gets older, those opinions will not serve her very well.

Emily Dickson wrote into one of her poems about this negative animus as a “loaded gun.”

I dream about a pool and there are women exercising in the water. The pool is small and has a bad green color. Then I notice the big windows and I go toward them and see all the beautiful blue and white ocean just outside. The colors are pearly. I want to go out but those inside do not want me going out, as it is dangerous in their opinion.

This dream brings me back to the time I went to India, Benares. We had an early morning ride on a boat, to watch the sun come up, to meditate, and then go to a place on the water where chai tea is served. We wait our turn as there are lots of boats there. They are open and the river has a vast expanse. There is a long walk up steps to the shopping area above.

I was sick of waiting and was ready to take off my sweater and jump into the river. There was a communal shout at me and I was stricken into pulling my sweater back on and sitting quietly until I got my tea.

When I returned to my lodgings, I resolved to get in the water. Nobody was available, as all had gone shopping. It was November and the water was not high at the edges of the river and a number of locals or visitors were in the shallow edge of the Ganges water, scooping water and pouring it over themselves. There were boys swimming and jumping in the river farther out.

There was a big round created circle just under the water about seven feet out, which was easy to access. I was wearing clothes over my swimsuit as it was better to be covered up. I was “kept an eye on” by those near by, as I dipped and dunked myself in the river. There are stories that Jesus traveled to India, to this city to study, and I was pleased to consider myself to be in a place where his footsteps had been in the distant past.

When I got on that underwater circle and considered jumping off into the deeper water, I was again treated to shouts to keep me from doing this. I again obeyed, staying in the shallows, happy to be fully immersed in the river.

It was beautiful, to be in this most sacred of rivers. There were little shrines by the steps and one man was inside the shrine with a toddler over whom he was praying, as he lit his incense beside him and chanted his prayers.

The above dream is interpreting me. What danger is being referred to in this dream?

I am creating a personal exercising pool, when compared to the beautiful ocean outside is sick.

My personal pool has that color of green associated with puke. I am the one creating a terrible environment inside me through the opinions of my inner negative masculine. It is pushy and has criticizing opinions about the relationship and marriage.

Morning after the big rain when the mountains show up very blue and the sky has a pearl blue color.

In my meditation, I have seen this marvelous pearly blue and in the dream it is coupled with the ocean.

As I find myself in a threshold place, of marriage to my partner of four years, I have to let go of my doubts and fears. I am not right in my thoughts, unless I go on out to that beautiful blue pearly feminine energy that is right outside the window that pulls love into the relationship. After all it is the reason for being on this earthly journey.

Those women inside at the personal pool of mean thoughts do not have my best interest at heart and now that I have the visual of this versus that, I have to consider only doing that which brings me to that ocean of love.

Ding dong the bells are going to chime, I am getting married in the morning. Love from Rose Marie.

Posted in Psychoanalytic | Tagged Animus, art, drawings, dreams, dreams and interpretation, Love, nature, poetry, travel | Leave a comment

Happy Life and Happy Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 9, 2024 by rlongwort

It is all about love, for others and yourself. You go the extra mile, say the extra prayer and give loving attention to your God, your outer neighbors and to your inner selves that appear in your dreams. Through these moves you are loving God and your neighbor as yourself and the extra bonus is that you meet your inner Lover, a beautiful young man, waiting to dance with you, in your dreams.

Client’s tell me they can not draw, but I tell them to try anyway, and that a stick figure will be fine. Then I ask them to put clothes on the stick figure and before I know it, I have a drawing.

This recent drawing above came from a dream, where the client is with a youngish lover/man and they are very happy together.

I am trying to interpret the dreamer rather than the dream. She has been successful in accomplishing a number of her goals. It is a happy dream of uniting her inner masculine and feminine, as depicted in her dream of lovers. The dream confirms that she has succeeded in a goal, that was very important to her, relating to housing and relationship. It was a difficult goal and she had to climb over opposition.

My lover and I (on the right) with my other female selves decide to dance for my lover after an initial urge to throw a knife at him.

Another goal of getting a pet, also unexpectedly came together for her, and the bond between her and the pet has made her very happy.

Interpreting the drawing, there is a pink heart between the lovers and the girl has a pink dress on also, which denotes a warm rosy love in the picture.

Also the space between the lovers has formed itself into a white heart with the pink heart above outlining the top of the white heart space, turning that space between them into the white heart light of Spirit.

The Tree of Life is beside the guy. The client had to reach for what brought life and energy into the situation, both into a difficult relationship and into her circumstances.

The green top on the tree is linked directly to his heart and the life in the situation through his outstretched arm. Her heart is activated through this uniting force of Love, through her Heart Chakra.

His arm is placed firmly in the Tree of Life which links back to her, through her heart. The dog is the small blue image on far left of picture.

There is a river of life flowing out from the Tree of Life. It broadens and leads out into the future. We are all looking for the River of Pure Crystal, lots of light there.

That is what dreams are and through them you can reach into the life in situations. That is all that is required of any of us. Each situation, is waiting for me to look into the life of it and go there.

I am organizing my wedding and could not get my feet on the ground about it all. I had lots of Cinderella fantasies about how it should go. I even through of coming to the church in a horse drawn carriage.

I was at least six feet off the ground. My good friend, at the risk of incurring my wrath, insisted I find what I wanted and pin down what was possible. During the time my feet were in the air and I felt very stressed.

Today with a little help from my fiancé and another friend I have put all the food issues of the marrying day down on paper and am no longer worried, naming and simplifying it all. I am even finding some time to write this, which always brings some life into me. The sun is going down and I have a little red rug around me for warmth, as I sit outside.

I continue to meditate at night and in that space I try and pull myself up out of my physical body and my head into my Soul and Spirit Consciousness. I know I am reaching toward the latter two when I feel an expansion. After some back and forth with the mind and body I settle more and ask for the Spirit to leave some impression on me. It is my attempt at opening the door to Consciousness and Awakening.

During this time I might have a flicker of a dream/vision where I see three vivid red Hibiscus flowers in/on a Hibiscus Tree.That is all I saw.

I love those hibiscus flowers that I brew in my tea. I love that Hibiscus Tree given to me by my neighbor, Mrs Murphy, may be fifteen years ago. With the application of boiling water, the red flower abandons its red color, and turns yellow. The tea turns purple and the red Is gone. I suspect that the magic of that tea helps me meditate.

A drawing of the Hibiscus flowers so I would not forget the fleeting image given to me.

The purple is associated with the color of the third eye, which in turn connects us to “If thine eye be single, the whole body is filled with light,” something I am trying to approach through my meditation practice.

Another time I see a blue/white pearl drop down through me in complete darkness. Is it the “treasures of darkness and the hidden riches of secret places” promised in Isiah 45:3? As I read my Bible, some passages draw me to them again and again.

More recently I was touched by the story of Simon Peter who has fished all night and caught nothing. Jesus shows up on the shore and says “cast the nets.” Jesus insists and Simon catches so many fishes that his boat wants to sink and his nets break.

At this point Simon Peter gets it.

Simon goes over to Jesus, and onto his knees and says “Depart from me, forI am a sinful man” Jesus smiles and puts his hand on his head and says to him “Simon, you will be a fisher of men from henceforth.” This passage, which I read, while cycling on my stationary bike, brought an unexpected tear to my eye. I like to imagine I am there too and get the hand of Jesus onto my head.

I always come away from my attempts at meditation with a highly pleased feeling and I do send out my love, light and prayers for others, far and near, sometimes even remembering my readers. Sometimes, like Peter I get a little in touch with it all.

Happy Valentine’s Day and may you be protected by your love of the Holy Spirit, Your favorite God, Your favorite Goddess, others and self.

Love from Rose Marie.

Posted in Psychoanalytic, Uncategorized | Tagged drawings, dreams, garden, hibiscus, Love, Mandala, meditation, Prayer | Leave a comment

Apex in Bridgewater

Posted on January 25, 2024 by rlongwort

I have one other bathroom story for you.

I had to do many Physical Therapy visits, at my local place, Apex, in Bridgewater, three a week at the beginning. I had a hard time doing my exercises and the staff held my hand as I sallied forth trying to become mobile and loosen my stiff knees out again after surgeries. I had a very special “Rose” aversion to doing the exercises, even as I felt better after doing them. Then the night might be worse due to my efforts. I had mixed feeling about it all.

I wept into their sympathies, literally. Jessica was inclined to give me my request for hot water in a coffee cup. It felt good. Toward the end of the session, as I worked the recumbent bike, I had finished up two cups of hot water.

I went to the water fall and saw this ice man laying back. It was very interesting.

All that warm water had a certain effect and I hastened to the bathroom with my waker in the hopes of getting there on time. I daren’t stop to lock the door, as there was not enough time for all that turning with the walker to lock it behind me.

So I sat down on the pot and all went well until I was cleaning up having “enjoyed the go.” It was as that moment that the door was opened.

A little snowman in the evening sunshine. Built by a thirteen year old who saw snow for the second time in her life. She was delighted with it.

The receptionist, on a mission to clean the bathroom, must have got a shock to find me sitting there, glancing behind me as I did the paperwork, and she screamed/shoute, as she crashed the door shut again, both her arms up in the air to block the view. And if that was not enough, she then opened the door a second time to make sure she did not imagine it and screamed some more. Becca, one of my therapists, came running over and pulled her back out and closed the door quietly.

When I came out of the bathroom, the receptionist was gone and Becca wanted to know if I was ok. I said I felt great.

The next time I visited, I went over to the receptionist and we went over the whole business and we screamed with laughter, as we both gave our versions of what we thought happened. I was a bit more careful of drinking two glasses of the hot water after that and locking bathroom doors came easier to me as I was able to detach from the walker.

There was no way to anticipate all the different things that happened as a result of my knees and the waker combination. . I could not afford to be too embarrassed as I had to go on regardless. I have much more sympathy for walker walkers now.

The laughter sure helped everything along and I hope to find more laughter where ever it may be found, whether in bad jokes, good jokes, mistakes, lapses, dream recall. I have such a dream to recall next. When I woke up , I totally forgot my knee problem and laughed and laughed. Until I write that story I send you much love and laughter.

All the best from Rose.

Posted in Psychoanalytic, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Come Walk with me Talk with Me.

Posted on January 16, 2024 by rlongwort

Rose Breda, Psychic, Dream interpreter and Meditator was in my life from 1985, when I emigrated to United States, via New York. She did Health Reading, Edgar Cayce style. She mailed out tapes finishing them off with a blessing for me and mine. I sometimes got health readings for myself or the children if they were sick.

I noticed her through a lecture she gave on past lives connected to the Edgar Cayce Foundation. The lecture was given at a church in Richmond, our immigration city, and I introduced myself. She lived in Blackstone then, and I was headed there, as part of the family’s relocation, due to of my then partner’s work in the medical field. I was in an Edgar Cayce Group in Ireland for a few years prior to emigrating.

Rose Breda had a strong Christian grounding and Biblical knowledge.

I took my Mandalas and dreams to Rose Breda on a monthly basis for a period of twenty years. She was alway helpful to me in my inner journey. She concerned herself with teaching us to meditate. There was a group of us. She did workshops on dreams and twice went through the material of Revelation, as she connected it to the Chakras in the human body. She also insisted that the Bible was a way to understand our inner journey, rather than using it to justify anything in the outer world.

Rose Breda would take a hold of one of my mandala drawings, the drawing of which she encouraged, and would hide behind it in the silence that followed. She sat in a corner of her room. I was instructed to draw another mandala. Then when she had stopped writing furiously, she would read it out. In this case she said “wow” and then read it out, during which I furiously wrote it down and we talked about her words.

I have kept a box of Rose Breda Mandala readings and as I am older now, I am going through my stuff and this is the first one I read to myself. I was hit by some guilt but I have to remember this came from over thirty years ago. I decided to include it in the pages below as I still need to learn from it now.

(Words attributed to Rose Longworth as represented in the Mandala by the figures on each side of the flower. See mandala above at top of page. The golden flower over the fountain of blue, in the center of the Mandala, is representing a Holy self and the inner Christ locked into the heart.)

My God, I am a lonely woman, I hang my head in shame that this earth is a lonely place and I do not rise to meet the son. I hang my head in shame that I have betrayed Christ, my holy self.

I, Rose L. stand on either side of him as He shoes his face and I hear him as he says,

My daughter, you sit upon a mighty well and yet your eyes remain ever cast down, not seeing the gold that is there for the taking. So many times you have opened the door and refused to come through. Break the bread and taste the wine of my blood and body. Take it into yourself and cleanse your self in the waters of my spirit. The two of you are still now as you do this Art. You stood before me in your humbleness and your shame. Can you not remain in humbleness? Is there a place in you for such? I rise up now to call you before it is too late. So many in your charge and you are failing them. You are very still now so you can hear me, as I speak to you, as I have spoken to you before. Yet you did not hear me. Your ears are closed and so is your heart. I die and die again on the cross in your heart never to be liberated. Come walk with me talk with me.”

I made up my mind to do the walk and to talk the talk. My client is sick this morning and I said to her that I would pray for her. I had the feeling that I am accompanied by a beautiful Holy person and their arm is around my waist. I feel we are both being carried. It is a warm feeling. She has a lot on her plate and needs the lift and the gift of such support.Her deceased grand aunties used to pray for her when they were alive so I now call on the Aunties to help her now in her struggles.

Being carried by a concerned Holy Spirit.

I still play my melodica, as a way to stay in touch with my Holy self. I plan to play “Joy to the World” as that tune showed up, as very beautiful music, in a client’s dream. We connected it to the Music of the Spheres. I will also try and play “The Everlasting Arms” as it relates to the Mandala above for me.

Also reading a book which says that the feelings and emotions from the heart are what influences the brain and depending on those feelings, if they are loving, they influence the brain to give us beautiful brain waves, as well as everything we need to improve health and happiness levels. So stop to breath five times, get in touch with past loving experiences and go from there. My client yesterday told me of this exercise. “Paven Guru” translated to “Breath as Teacher.”

From the dreams Drawing images from the dreams keeps the unconscious very happy and responsive to you.

I am still convalescing, as well as doing some writing and sessions with my clients. I am looking for a few more clients, who want to work on themselves through their spiritual efforts. You can be a stone in my shoe that I need to pay attention to but I am not interested in working with people who have no intention of getting in touch with their Holy Selves. If you are such a stoney person, working on yourself, come join me for some sessions at my home office in Bridgewater. I would love to work with you. Happy New Year and Happy paths where you find your Holy Self.

See the beautiful Rainbow and then double Rainbow that came this morning in the sunrise and rain. My partner ran outside in his bare feet, abandoning the stove, to get some pictures. I appreciate this about him.

Love from Rose Marie.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged art, creativity, dreams and interpretation, Mandala, meditation, Prayer, writing | Leave a comment

Happy New Year for 2024.

Posted on January 2, 2024 by rlongwort

Blessings and Challenges are right in there with New Year Resolutions. When I found my list from about five years ago I took another look at them.

I wrote down my three Blessings and they were as follows:

1 The Blessing of the Dreams and Humor within that work.

2. The Blessing of Meditation and Yoga. (Reading Saint Teresa of Avila works at that time and learning more about Kundalini Yoga with Siri Amrita).

3. The Great Outdoors and Games including Gesture and Quiddler among other games. And the UNO game played with kids and in West Virginia in the mountains with Ryan and family.

An Irish Butterfly taken by Rose in June in Malahide Castle Gardens.

My three Challenges have not changed much either:

1. That I forget my job is to see God in others. I can do this by praying for each person I see, or think about, or am mad at, or irritated with or love. I can see what God might want me to say in a given moment to be in the moment rather than nice.

2. To see the moonlight up and down the back bone, to feel the straightening and strengthening of back even as I hunch over my computer.

Painted in Fatima, Mary Shrine in Portogal.

I am sitting in the same place of forgetting to see God in others, although sometimes I see a photo of someone and know she is one I need to see God in. And when I say daily the “Our Father” or the “Lord’s prayer,” as some call it, and come to the line about “Forgive us our debts as, as we forgive our debtors” I actually call forth a few I am struggling with for some foolish reasons of my own and put a blessing on them especially.

I am doing a little better with the back bone, as I have prayers that go up and down the back bone, as I say them. I especially am paying attention to this, as my knees are redone and I am setting up my whole body differently, as I walk and sit and lie and as I exercise for the knees.

Keeping the Back Bone upright can be a full time job.

I get deep tissue massage, osteopathy treatments and acupuncture treatments and I use castor oil packs, epsom salt packs etc to heal my knees. Sometimes it feels like a full time job and other times I feel the freedom of the new knees, a slow moving miracle.

I do not want to continue in the mode and feeling I am a sick person, not able to walk and it is easy to focus on what is wrong on an ongoing basis. So I am going to the gym and I am walking. I promise to write and work and enjoy my life as much as I can and leave the rest behind.

I do not know who this represents, but I needed a rendition of Isaiah.

I would like to add to the above that this year I started reading the Bible in the early spring. I am almost up to the new Testament. I do pages every day and do a catch up if I miss. Sometimes I write a passage down and learn it off and take it into the daily meditation.

Loosely pulled from Isaiah 45, I have been fascinated with this passage for the last three months. I particularly liked the reference to “Treasures of Darkness and hidden riches of secret places.” It is addressed to Syrus, a King but I have adapted it for myself as follows:

“Thus says the Lord to his anointed, Rose, whose right hand have I, God, been holding. To subdue the nations of Rose’s ego before her; and I, God will loose the loins of the kings of her selfishness, to open before her the two leaved gates, setting her free, and the gates shall not be shut.

I, God will go before, Rose, and make the crooked places straight, I, God, will break in pieces the gates of brass, blocking her way, and cut in sunder the bars of iron of her stony heart and throat.

And I, God, will give Rose the treasures of darkness, and hidden riches of secret places, that Rose mayest know that I, the Lord, which call her by her name, Rose, am her God.

I have even called Rose by her name: I have surnamed her, though Rose have not know me.

I am the Lord, and there is none else. There is no God besides me.I girded her with the clothes of Spirit freely available to her, though Rose hast not known me.”

I am also reading (again) Harmon Bro’s book on Edgar Cayce and Dreams. I get it that I do not take that work half serious enough. I can get all kinds of help through paying attention to my dreams. I have to dally pay attention enough to the dream space to see them as impressions directly from God. “I girded her with the clothes of Spirit freely available to her, though Rose hast not known me.” This year I intend to get to know God through the impressions left on my by my dreams.” I intend to help others do the same.

I neglected to go to the dream directly this morning, but when I did I saw blue and white stripes over there on the left and they were on someone and that someone was on a chair. The blue and white of Mary is nearby and I want to get closer to her too.

I hope you too will find your dreams and write them down and think about them and find their message, so you can sit into that impression God sends you every night. Granted you might need a little help from a group or a counsellor, and I am gearing up to continue with this work and do some dancing, as I seem to have started in my dream. I look forward to hearing from you.

Dancing in the Dream, I am with my six inner sisters. I like to sing Dancing Queen and Lord of the Dance regularly.

All the best from Rose Marie.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Blessings, Challenges, Drawing pf the dreams, dreams, encouragement, faith, God, Love, Prayer | Leave a comment

All things Bathroom

Posted on December 28, 2023 by rlongwort

In the early days when I was just home from the hospital, after knee replacement surgery, I had a terrible time sleeping. My feet would get very hot and my knees had a hard time resting on any surface. Sometimes I resorted to prayers and went around my beads, 108 in total, three times before I would relax enough to fall off to sleep. I said Christian and Hindu mantras. The Hail Mary in latin is a long prayer all by itself.

Then I might wake me up, in discomfort, in an hour or two.

On one such night, I woke up to my hot and feverish knees, and was also smelling uric acid fumes coming from the commode. I was on that side of the bed nearest the bathroom. Getting out of bed was a very slow affair, set off agains the dire need to get to the bathroom on time. The walker seemed to get between me and the pot. As I flung around that walker and yanked at my night ware I was wishing for depends.

I was fuming at the pain, loss of control and at the smell on this cold November night. I opened the window in the bathroom as much as I could. I decided that the commode needed a good brushing. I got the toilet brush and placed it between the lid and the commode, with the brush in the center of the commode. This was some kind of code that I wanted my partner to scrub the pot down for me. There was no way I could do such a thing now.

Then I left the bathroom and closed the door against the smell and against the cold of the open window. I was fast asleep in no time having vented my anger on all things bathroom and thinking I had solved the problems. I slept well after that. I could blame the medications….

I did not hear my partner get up later. As he told the story next morning, he said he ran into a closed bathroom door on his way to the bathroom. He was close to fast asleep and found himself trying to climb up that closed door.

When he woke up enough to open the door, he then turned around in the dark and sat on the pot, where that wiry brush was lurking, ready to attack his private and delicate parts. He said he leaped off the pot not knowing what kind of animal might be attacking him.

He did not make a fuss about the brush in the commode – accepting her fragile state at the time.

He said that brush went all the way up to his tonsils and mumbled about the closed door and the tonsils more than once.

As I woke up that morning, to the pain and stiffness of those pared down and lacerated knees, I listened to my partner’s story and found myself falling into a reluctant laugh. He was still mumbling about the brush reaching up to his tonsils, as he made his way to that cold bathroom and found the window open. I heard some scrubbing going on and laughed some more. For some reason I felt I had to keep it a silent laugh.

I am able to walk every evening now and see the Santa clause get filled with air as the sun sets.

Happy Holidays and All the best from Rose Marie.

Posted in Prayer, Uncategorized | Tagged bathroom talk, fiction, Hail Mary, Knee surgery, poetry, prayers, relationships, short-story, walker, writing | 2 Comments

Brought to my Knees

Posted on December 20, 2023 by rlongwort

I travelled to Iceland, England and Portugal in October, came back and immediately had double knee surgeries to “replace” my knees. That last travel to the operating room is a visit into the underworld of sorts.

Initially I thought my knees would be cut out and new knees put in, as replacement. Instead there is a piece placed at the back of the knee, going up and down the leg from the knee, which replaces the problematic joint. Then there is a quarter inch thick, flat piece, like a cushion placed between the upper and lower bones coming together at the knees. The surgeon said that he also cleans up the area and uses many stitches both inside and outside to keep it locked in, while healing after the operation. I was “walking” with a walker the next day.

I had the worst time agreeing with myself that the surgeries were in order. A Chiropractor Doctor, who looked at the x-rays , said my back ache and ankle pain was cause by my knees in between them. A friend, who was a physical therapist, all her life, who knows bandy legs agreed that the operation was needed. I asked my friend why she did not say something sooner. She said it was not her “place.” I put it off for ten painful months and then oped for a miracle in theinbetween.

Family helped by staying over and cooking and caring. Annabeth the musician visited.

Then I went on my travels and used a wheelchair often and had a very lovely time, also pretending that the surgeries would not be much, I would be able to deal with it and instantly recover, when I came back.

On Pilgrimage in Fatima, with Decon Chris Wells and my sister, his wife, Teresa.

Seven weeks after the operations, I am sitting in the sunlight window, with epson salt packs, hot as can be, around both knees and another saturated cloth around my ankles. My ankles tend to hurt as I adjust.

A few weeks later the wounds are healing up. The outside stapes are taken out already.

Home again and clumping around on my walker, I met a man, who said he had both of his knees operated on at the same time. He noted he could not take the meds, as he liked to drink alcohol and that most days he would be crying a lot. He noted that acquiring a stationary bike at his home was the only thing that helped in the end. He still struggles with alcohol even as he makes wine and cider. He was not drinking the day we visited, as his gout was too painful. His cider was very sweet. We sampled a mouthful.

Gerry was very helpful also, as the person at home with me all the time.

The hospital stay was great. I was given a Bible and a book about the Psalms to read. The doctor put in some medication in my thigh to “block nerve pain” and I thought I was off to a great start. They also made sure I swallowed all medications they recommend.

The nursing staff were great and gave me a bible and this book to read,

When at home, I went into the complete “didder” about medications, about how much and which ones. I ended up taking just one. I had a bad nightmare about being in the belly of a cow, as well as being in a place lined with big cows who were almost unconscious. I was locked in. I could see their glottis parts which are cut off. I whispered “Help.” I stopped using those meds and used the turmeric, passion flower, magnesium and valerian types. They were helpful even as they were light duty. They dulled the edge of the pain.

I made use of homeopathic medications, the little white pills that are good for “bruising, black eyes and pain.” I took these before and after the operation, being careful not to advertise them too much. My local Homeopathic representative at Sues Super Nutrition give me the protocol. The hospital staff, if they noticed, said nothing to me about them.

Gerry got me some flowers and added the last of the roses from the front of my house.

I was glad when I could sit into the bathtub again. That was one of only thing that brought me back to feeling human.

I did take a fall into the bath tub, as I put me hand on a suction type bar in the bathtub. I did some howling about that, ended up with a few black marks and the area of my glottis hurt, when I coughed or swallowed. I did not take to drinking alcohol, but like the man with the double knee surgeries I cried most days for the first few weeks. It relieved the tension.

The hammer and nails reminded me of crucifixion. The surgeries are the closest I have come to crucifixion in this life.( Fatima cross)

In surgery, I woke up briefly to hear the sound of a hammer hitting a nail, seven times. Both seemed bright silver, the nail and hammer. I may have been able to open my eyes. I checked later with the surgeon about this and he said he definitely uses a “hammer and nails.” I was very pleased to have become conscious within a space that is so hidden from the person getting operated on.

I constantly worked oils into my knees and legs and lay on my back often. That also helped with dulling the pain. Peanut and olive were the main oils I used. I sought out pines and oaks as my friend Pamela said they would help with healing. They got me out into the lovely sunshine and parks.

Above and beyond all of the detail above, there is the psychological impact, that forces me into some kind of letting go in order to go on. I still carry on with that aspect of me that endured knee pain for about thirty years. She is appearing in the dream and maybe I can off load, or repurpose her for some better work, other than complaining and crying. I do know I love been able to walk again. My sister Rita said that I am leaving the dust behind me, when I walk now. I am also hoping to leave my dream complainer in the dust too.

I look forward to writing about my pilgrimage to Fatima and hope that I will do that next. Also hope to blog some dreams and watercolors that have come to me since my operation. Love you all, and praying for you too. Rose Marie.

The huge new Cathedral in Fatima had beautiful art imagery behind the alter.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged dreams, exercise, health, knee-pain, Operation of Knees, total-knee-replacement, travel | Leave a comment

Inheritance

Posted on September 26, 2023 by rlongwort

I had a great time staying in Ireland, down the country. The old railway line is called the “Old Rail Trail” that cuts the farm in two and has an entrance onto the trail. So many people are using it for walking, running, riding bikes, and strolling along and visiting. I saw a woman walking towards me and I thought it was her mother. I am out of the area for almost thirty five years. It was so lovely to visit. She talked about who died at a nearby gate, not so long ago, someone I met and talked with on a previous trip, when I walked on the trail.

My cactus at the front door bloomed after hot weather in July.

I went to visit Maureen Farrell, who is related to us by marriage and was always connected to our family. Her husband was my mother’s first cousin, and was my “Godfather” in my baptism. She was the woman, who said that a certain man, who was interested in her, could come and look in her window all he wanted but could not look out her windows. I reminded her of this and we laughed together.

She was sitting on her chair, a plaid wool rug on her legs and she was reading from her holy books. They were old books, well used and loose pages also.

She told me a story of how she was asleep at night recently, and woke up (awake) convinced that someone was coming into her room. She pushed up onto her elbow and said “who is there?” Some neighbor, recently deceased, appeared and she asked Maureen to help her, by praying for her. She said she did not wish to tell me her name, feeling it was between her and her neighbor. She was praying for her.

I got these gifts today from three different people/clients. It was a lovely surprise.

But I should have known Maureen was not long for this world, because she was half way over there already, able to see her deceased neighbor so easily. I heard Maureen died about two weeks after I returned to USA. She always made an evening tea for me when I visited, that included some home made sweet item that was very good to eat. She regretted that she could not do so now.

When it was time to go, she got up to walk us out of her house, saying I had a very good man with me. I appreciated her words to me. May she rest in peace. I have been praying for her. Last weekend she swept into my vision, full of life and laughter with a head of curly white hair framing her face, in a slim line navy frock.

It was truly lovely for me to get this vision of her after her passing. It was a gift to know her and see her into her nineties. I know her life was a great testament to her goodness and I appreciated her attention to me, her kindness to my mother and many others.

A Little Dream Work – continued from last blog.

“ In the dream, I am doing needlework, together with another, knitting a hat. Our heads are touching. There is a lovely feeling of heart felt love between us… (I) connect it into my personal journey toward God, with God helping me feel this feeling of love between me and another.”

The above is from a recent dream. I neglected to tell you all of the dream. In the latter part of the dream the other woman asked me why I would not talk to her and I said that it was because of what is “pushed under the carpet.”

From the lovely dream about connection and love.

I went back and forth in all kind of ways trying to say the other woman was pushing things under the carpet, but eventually, reading about envy, and how it warps things, helped me see my pushing of things under my carpet. I have my own envy of family, their love of each other, their grandkids, my parent’s farm.

And that is what is pushed under the rug. It is not in God’s plan to give any of that inheritance to me. It never was in the cards. What is in the cards is that “God’s love within me is my native land… for you are homeless less God keeps your heart.”(John Bradburn)

Water color of my favorite words at the moment. I have a singing version of them.

Before Moses dies, in the Bible, God is talking to Moses and saying that he is upset with his people because they are God’s inheritance and those very people do not seem to know this. I found where God spoke to Aaron; “Thou shalt have no inheritance in their land , neither shalt thou have any part among them. I am thy part and thy inheritance.” I will have to wait for another read through to find the exact lines I need where God is complaining that he, God, is dependent on his people for his inheritance.

Roses are happily blooming outside my office window.

When I look at the water colored picture, I painted, about the lovely dream I find, there is black and green in the area of the heart. The pure green is the color associated with the heart, symbolizing Love and growth and aliveness and awakening. The black laced in there is put in, unconsciously, which I am now associating with the little “black heart” denoting the heart of stone – my under the carpet stuff.

Between our heads is a good green and all around about is the blue and purples. That brought in the feeling of love between us.

Morning after the big rain when the mountains show up very blue.

I am projecting on to the other, when I say I will not talk to her, because of what is pushed under my carpet. It is called projection, when we do not want to take responsibility for what we are doing. That is, putting under the rug, that which I do not wish to acknowledge, about my need to completely let go of any envy feelings related to inheritance issues. It was a breath of fresh air to acknowledge the issues over which I have control.

One of my client’s became a grandmother. I found this doll on face book. It was crocheted by Barbara Dewey. I like to crochet sometimes.

Love from Rose Marie.

Posted in Psychoanalytic, Uncategorized | Tagged dreams, dreams and interpretation, travel in Ireland | 2 Comments

Specific Instructions.

Posted on September 4, 2023 by rlongwort

I am about one third the way through reading the Bible. I love this book as it opens me to my spirituality, giving me some metaphysical promptings, to help with inner work. Holy people in the Bible always got very specific instructions from God. Some think that specific instructions are really for us, to be copied. I do not always agree with, as I think we have to find our own specific instructions, and this is where the dreams come in, adding in a look to those archetypal stories from the Bible too.

I want my own conversation with God. I have a little vision where I see Jesus trying to give something to God from me. I do not see God, but I know Jesus is on the right hand of God. It is a stone, wrapped up in a little cloth. After some thought, the line from a hymn comes to me about a heart of stone. I laughed about it as the repetitiveness of this action is funny. It is like a body move that goes on and on. God does not want my heart of stone. Jesus does try and help us, but if there is not heart of Love there, it can not go over into the sacred.

Stones from the Bay. They are representative of family members, that I was working with in my head. It helped with some distance for me from the situation that was difficult. A right side of brain activity,

When I was reading, in the earlier books of the Bible, about the alter of God and the different sacrifices, I dream of my own alter. When I fly off the handle to focus on my selfish needs, my white and blue crockery on the alter is broken. The offerings to God are shattered.

My partner is a saint sometimes and always a sweetheart.

In the BibIe, I got caught up in the story of two runners coming back to David to tell him his son, of the beautiful countenance, is dead. My unconscious used that full of feeling influence to influence my dream. That night I dream of myself and “Gabby, a man running like crazy, to rescue a child from my car that has rolled into the pond. I was running behind him, He was amazed that there was no baby in the car and then I realized I had left the baby at home, completely forgot to bring her with me. Gabby, my angel, is wet and sweaty with anxiety about the baby.

This reflection of a 35 year old Barbie doll lives at my house. I had it in the window for a while, as the Movie is very popular with some of my clients. I took it down as two people thought I was getting married soon.

I know that change; from thoughts in the mind and movement in the body, to a stillness in meditation, to fall into my soul and its ability to open to God Consciousness. The dream tells me I am in forgetfulness about who I am. I ask the question, “Does my action/thoughts in real life, give me a heart of love or of stone?”

I am forgetting the spiritual baby, leaving it with others in my psyche to care for, and they not one bit interested in her. She is a bit doll like. A new mood and a new feeling toward that expansion into the real baby of me has to be born again. “Don’t you know Rose Marie that you are here for this new birth.”

The dream doll is on the bottom left of watercolor.

Doing something as a result of a dream will help me respond to the dream, stimulate a way forward. My writing here can be such an action. I want to be “about My Father’s/Mother’s business.”

I love David’s connection to music. I am playing my melodica. I feel it must be only between me and God, as I freeze, when I try and play for others. I play it when I am upset about issues, something new that comes up that I feel thwarted in some way; then I play. Also, my partner sometimes will join in when I play “How Great Thou Art” as it is a hymn known to him from his youth. He says I am either too fast or too slow. Other times he just listens. I like that.

I had a lovely dream last morning. It followed a night time meditation and I think it was in response to my opening to the Spirit during meditation. In the dream, I am doing needlework, together with another, knitting a hat. Our heads are touching. There is a lovely feeling of heart felt love between us.

That feeling of love has stayed with me and made me smile and helped me with family conflict. It is easy to link it to some thing that happened recently but it will serve me better to connect it into my personal journey toward God, with God helping me feel this feeling of love between me and another.

The kite of a lone wind surfer is all we see as the sun starts to set over the bay.

The super blue moon, came up over the shrubby live oaks at the bay on First Landing State Park, around sunset. It looked mottled, just over the horizon and a little blue. The bay water was especially pale blue, just before sunset, with rainbow highlights on the water, probably due to the humidity over the water. That evening light tripping toward me over the pale blue water spoke to me of God’s Love within me being my native land.

During the night the moon filled the sitting room where I choose to meditate. It was after 2.00 am. It shone on my face, through an opening in the tall oaks surrounding the cabin. I positioned my face to soak up some moonbeams.

Today the wind is blowing from a tropical storm coming in south of us, calling to me in the whistling of the wind. I am in the cabin listening to a music practice. I am blessed indeed.

This morning, I had a dream of a baby chair. The room seemed circular and closed. The chair was old with the four legs splayed out for stability. I am reminded that the baby dream above has morphed, and a male aspect of me is coming along with an old beat up chair for the baby. The imagery of the crucible with a strange door is presented, opening me to allow an imaginative shift that will help me with this quest for love that I am after. This dream has not been written down or drawn.

As I wrap up the week here at the beach, I would love to just live here all the time, getting body work and hydrotherapy at the Spa and dipping in the bay day after day. I start my new Life Long Learning Dream and Symbol class on Monday morning and know this is my journey. I hope you have lots of dreams to light your way and that your feet become surer on the path of what you came here to do. I might have a spot or two open for dream counseling if needed. Love you from Rose Marie.

Annabeth McNamara is the musician in the family who devotes herself to music and that is her business. Lovely company to have at the beach.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged A week at the Bay, Bible, drawings, dreams | Leave a comment

The Alter

Posted on July 24, 2023 by rlongwort

Moriah, Gerodi, and Druid Bernie set off to the Hill of NaCosta and decided to clime to the top of the Hill.They saw the home of the ancient druids, on the side of the hill, now long gone. They found the piles of round stones, mostly covered with moss and with ivy.

Moriah’s was helped by using her canes and often stopped to look back at the increasing view of the countryside all round about bathed in the forty shades of green, maybe fifty miles in every direction. A kestrel was flying back and forth for the entire time, making a loud cry. It was far up but not too far to be seen. The cry of a bird wanting some change.

They saw a flock a sheep further up that moved together as a pack, putting up their heads to evaluate the intruders on their grounds, maybe by a sniff of the air. Some cattle came to investigate them. They snorted a little but soon got bored and went on eating the lush grass. The copious amounts of watery stools that flew out of them, were easy to avoid, as they dried up quickly in the hot sun of midday.

As they neared the top they were held back from getting to the old stone age burial ground on top by a think hedge of briars and nettles. They could see the bonnie rowen trees lacing the top in the distance.

They turned around, giving up on that last climb up, cowed by the sharp nettles. Sometimes Moriah would cut a bunch of nettles and run them along her lower back for a deep stinging, followed by a rash of heat and pain, that took her breath away, to help with the arthritic pain. She often saw her mother putting her hands into the nettles for the same reason.

Moriah scooted along on her arse a time or two, if the thistles and cow dung were not in her way. She told Druid Bernie that she was having difficulty “Only on the down hill, when my knees try to slip out over my shins bones.” Sometimes Druid Bernie and Gerodi linked her on either side on the steepest parts to bring her down the easier and the quicker.

When they were almost down from the Hill they decided to find the stones again and to sit on them and meditate and see what they could find. Would this be a place where the druids left traces of their holiness for them to sit into and be affected positively? Nobody else seems to value such energetic possibilities, most people having forgotten.

As they sat there, they went through the routines of loosening the bonds with the earth and the mind to open the everlasting door to God Consciousness and the soul by being still in body and quiet in mind. She would listen into the silence with her eyes turned up in her head, watching for what might come down on her from above.

As Moriah watched she saw the old alter, a flat rock that once was the alter here on the side of the Hill. There she surrounded herself with her love for her maker all around her and within her.

Getting up a little higher and looking back down.

She surrendered herself onto her own alter, on which she sacrifices her self and all that is opposed to the higher in her. She lays it all down before the higher. She lights the four columns of light, one to your left and one to your right one to the east and one to the west. She burn a beautiful incense of all of her past prayers and longings for who she is and where she comes from.

She is under the shadow of the most high, the blue and the indigo, the violet, that marvelous curtain that is waving just above her. She raises her eyes. She waits in the secret place of the Most High. She calls on her own inner cakras, along the back bone to lift up their gates so that the everlasting door to the Most High is opened. She is under the blue mist of God’s time, over and around her.

When a time went by and they had sent out their prayers for the earth and for their loved ones, and especially for those not so loved, they closed up their openness promising to dwell in the House of God forever. They talked as they made their way back to the donkey and cart patiently waiting for them. Gerodi had gone on ahead and pulled our the making of the tea and set a little fire aflame. Gerodi was good with getting tea ready in no time.

Moriah and Bernie talked of their meditation and their dreams as they sat watching the flames lick around the old teapot, whose inside was coated with tea tannins. In an earlier dream, she had seem pieces of crockery, blue and white, broken, irregular pieces, on the old abandoned alter on the Hill.

Dream mugs are for filling with dreams – and that keeps them not broken.

Druid Bernie said that the cups on the alter hold the best of her. When she looses her temper, gets into a stormy situation, the cups break and there is nothing on the alter. The prayers of all her goodness have to be hedged about with the kindness, love, peace and many other good emotional things to keep storms away that would break up her offerings. Those holy sentiments would fill up her cups and they would bring a real offering to her alter.

Moriah said to Bernie “You mean that when I loose my temper….’ Druid Bernie said “Yes that is you breaking the vessels on the alter, that are there, a holy incense of all your prayers. They can be broken easily, in meanness, in thoughts that are astray, mad at others and all sort of evil isle musings.

A very old stone to be found inKill graveyard in Westmeath, Ireland.

All things happen to you for a reason and you have to integrate that into your life with thankfulness. Like the old druid, who said that “to be grateful to your enemies for what they bring to you, was the best thing for you to do, for those are the very lessons especially designed for you.” Can you stay straight up and in balance as this old karma leans over on you to take on and let go.”

Other cups holding the words of the song they sang.

It gave Moriah something to ponder as as she remembered another dream where she was leaning off to one side as she did a dance with a dashing man. She crunched down on some oat cake, full of pieces of the whole grain that barely gave way under the pressure of her aging teeth. The tea put them in great form and they sang loudly the hymn about the love of God being” your native land” and being “homeless less God keeps your heart.” The End.

This brings me back to my roots of the mystical to be found in the practice of meditation and in the practice of acceptance of all that comes your way.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged dreams, meditation | Leave a comment

Rose Longworth Counseling

Getting Married and a Dream of Danger.

Happy Life and Happy Valentine’s Day

Apex in Bridgewater

Come Walk with me Talk with Me.

Happy New Year for 2024.

All things Bathroom

Brought to my Knees

Inheritance

Specific Instructions.

The Alter

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