I often thought I should be writing when I am meditating as the images and thoughts that come to me out of the meditation, may all escape me like a half remembered dream, unless I write something down in the moment. I was awake before dawn a few times recently, having slept through the night into a good nights sleep. I was up and about before 5.00 a.m. Sometimes I sit out on the back deck, cloaked against the falling dew and morning breezes. The following is an account from last week:
Early Morning Meditation –A sideways fan of light sandwiched between the Walnut trees shines in her eyes, with the sun centered in the higher quadrant. This fan affects her heart, bringing her back to the center, winnowing out all plans and controls. The increasing light is mirrored in her, to warm the seed of her soul into its flight through the branches that know what way to go, what shape to be, to hold the light. The sun blinds her into closed eyes, into the son of light, the son of life, sitting laughing in her heart, sacred secret. Happiness isn’t a secret at all.
The sun moved higher into other branches, creating other conjunctions in her arm bones in her back, straighter, straighter, like the truth of the tree. The Walnut was so satisfied to be sat under, it threw out all it got around her, now in a nutshell, dropping oil into her, where her arm bones and her hip bones are danced on by a thousand tiny bird feet obeying that Walnut tree, pushing her back to the womb, where the original smallest crookedness was corrected, leaving her alone.
She looks out into windows of light into other gardens of the morning, watching the oneness of a leaf spinning free of the tree. Two cardinals in unison flew through the tree window space, two little jets. There the tree took her in and let her feel the roots and let her feel the sky, where the go around is golden and where the straight is light.
A dream from the Shensara Yoga Festival:
I got a question from a woman about a recurring dream of being late to give her yoga class, not knowing where it is at, how to get there, and totally forgetting it was on until it is too late. I turned around the dream to ask the dreamer about her spiritual life and how she is forgetting, how she has lost her way, how she could be forgetting something so important. She forgot to go to a recent meeting and the unconscious used this event in her real life to pull before her the scenario of her spiritual life. We had some good long conversations before it was time for her to get in the water with some young people and do yoga with them.
I bought a book on dreams and was given a book on dreams. I have to be rounding on my own self to see where the unconscious leads, where the intuition can be developed deeper in addition to the reading. The books are as follows: The Chocolate-Covered Umbrella by Tilda Norburg published by Fresh Air Books, and Kaballah and the Power of Dreaming by Catherine Shainberg published by Inner Traditions Rochester, Vermont.
I had too dreams last night. The first I remember on the deck when I am out doing Qigong this morning with three others. I remembered I had cursed in the dream, at someone, who was a voyeur near some others and me. It was a male. The second was an image that came to me as I woke up. It was a Dart Vader type in my garden a little bit away from me. He is all dressed in black, small (like myself) and not so sure of himself.
Both are animus images, inner men. My rat snake has morphed into these two men images mentioned above. I did some work on the rat snake dream by drawing it and considering how to heal my hand and do body work, inner clensing, etc. Now I have this voyeur person in me that is interested in the gossip aspect of counseling but I have my eyes on this person and I take him on. I know to demand he get back behind me. I reaffirm I am like a priest who holds all that comes to her in therapy, as secret between her and the client.
Then the male image comes back as the Dart Vader. It has been threatened and it tries to threaten me back. But again he is a little distance from me and I have a chance to see him. He is quiet ridiculous looking but I have to remember this aspect of me wants to take hold of the sword of light and wants to take it for the negative side. I am relieved to see him. I will do my art around him and see what else comes through. He was in the yard under the Wallnut tree. I am resolved to continue to seek protection within my spiritual practices.
I made brownies from a bag of gluten free brownie mix this morning and put the left over porridge into it and some yellow cereal left in my panty after my son’s recent visit. The brownies turned out very sweet and good. I shared some with a neighbor after a moment of greediness relating to sharing. We discussed the possibility of capturing a dream, as he tasted some of the morsel. His wife is gluten free so I had to say they were gluten free except for the cereal, yellow, whose ingredients were no longer possible to check on as I had discarded the box. I put the rest of that cereal into the compost incase I would be tempted to use it again not knowing what the ingredients are.
And if you have any Dart Vader, archetypal character, in your dream that you need to draw and need to sit with, I will be happy to hold your hand metaphorically. I hope you schedule soon to look at your own organic images, like weeds in a garden, needing some observation and some cleaning up. I look forward to work with you.
I see my Dart Vader in the back of my mind and she is too hot, with all that black on her. I am laughing a little. Love from Rose.