I am part of a Bible Study Group. I read the bible through twice around the time my first child was born but I did not follow through with this practice. However I studied Revelation (the last book in the bible) many times and read all the books on Revelation, based on the Edgar Cayce readings, to try and understand myself, my seven chakras, as they are related to the seven churches in Revelation. For me Revelation is the triumph of Good over Evil.

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On the advice of Cayce, I sometimes read Revelation for the healing ability it will bring to me, as I deal with something difficult in the mental field. I put it on tape a time or too and listened to it many times in my life. I sang certain phrases as mantra sometimes. Words like “I will give you the morning star” makes reference to the heart and love. The final chapter is full of good promises. 

Reading Revelation becomes a journey for me, at times wanting to do something else, or wanting to fall dead asleep, but when I persist I feel like I have meditated by the time I have finished. It takes just over an hour to read. That is always a good thing for me to drop into, a calmness that helps in dealing with the problems that come to me from others. 

One of the lines in the last chapter makes reference to the “river of pure crystal.” The year before my old friend Maria died she dreamed that her living room was full of beautiful crystal that was being measured. I always felt she measured up in really good ways, being true to whom she was, making her own individual choices, as she went along. I was one of those choices she made that I would be good friends with her. I learned a lot from her and felt her love and acceptance. We were both immigrants to this lovely land. 

I was fascinated by the story of Job and the Jungian commentaries that have come my way on that(Jungs answer to Job.) Other books and stories from the Bible, I have studied randomly, as I found references to them in other books. Ballack and Ballam are referenced in Revelation. The talking donkey in the Bible caught my attention for a few weeks. I say or sing the twenty third Psalm and the Our Father daily as bookends to my meditation practice. 

In our Bible study last week, we got into such issues as sin and what it meant for our leader personally. We had a lot of fun as a huge bluebottle, flew around the room lurching out of some hidden place. I tried to stay focused as I dealt with murderous feelings for the fly. 

Putting blessings on all those that irritate me would be a good start to the New Year. The driver that almost came into my lane caused me to adjust quickly. We blew horns at each other for a bit. As she turned onto the I-81 exit I though of the blessing. I did not want to be responsible for any furthering wavering on her part especially on the highway. 

I chose not to give a burst of horn, as she went by, as I was blessing her but she took the opportunity to give me a final blast. She was gone and I gave a final blast into nothingness. It is hard to hold steady with that blessing. 

Then there is the man who hit me on the head as I swam in the pool, who found it hard to stop what he was doing to see if I was ok. I said that he ran into me. He said “You can run into me any time.” I though I had put that incident away and blessed him too. 

But there he, a few days later, telling the story, within my ear-shot, and talking about me, saying that I had “accosted him.” I then informed him he was talking about me, and he put his arm around me.  I soon found I was back in square one without any blessing for him. 

But I know that within my meditation, after I have raised some energy though my practice, I can send the blessings again. It would be even better to obey the injunction to “Love your enemies” in the moment. I have felt the freedom that comes from praying for someone in the moment and not having to rehash the story again and again, especially at night when the dark is down and rehash is the name of the game. I want to avoid sending negative energy toward the offender. Can we put out those fires in ourselves? 

In my outer life there is a wild cat that frequents my front porch. A car has injured the cat, I think. He likes the rugs on my porch and as his private parts are injured he creates a great stink when he settles on my porch for any amount of time. He thinks the easiest way though my porch is over the couch. It is mostly covered well but the wind has been at work and I see his tracks and his splashes and smell the smell. 

My neighbor feeds him and hopes he will recover naturally. 

In the meantime I have to consider this cat as some kind of an unconscious image,representing a softer feminine side. I have to ask if my feminine side is getting a look in, as I live my life or is it injured and causing a stink? That cat gives me pause as I push too hard in many directions. Can I accept all that comes my way in humility? Keep in touch with the strength of my inner woman as well as have strength to hold boundaries for myself? Am I healing myself? I am now praying for the cat. 

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