She is sitting at the river and the ball of pain in her right leg, that seems to think it can take up residence behind her long bones, is feeling the cold and so is very active. Moriah is trying to ignore it as usual and is threatening to dip it into the cold cold river if it does not stop. It hides away after immersion in the colder water, at least for an hour or two.
Two geese flew off when she arrived, a crow was cawing and the black sheep on the far bank were soaking up the sun as they nibbled on the short green grass. She tried to avoid the breeze by sitting on an incline toward the river with the wind at her back but the wind came around in all directions cooling her neck and face and was only stilled by the sun coming out and reflecting on the fast flowing water.
Moriah liked the sound of Druid Bernie’s teachings and was trying to link herself into this bounty of love, he spoke about recently but of course it was not easy. She continued with her meditation as usual and would see if she could feel that cloud of knowing love settle in all around her.
Old religion and new religion, Love was always part of the mix she mumbled to herself.
Moriah’s mind returned to a recent long dream group when she was getting stiff and sore from too much sitting. As the meeting finished there was an invitation to say how they were doing. There was a great silence.
From the dream group
Moriah directed the question to one of her friends, whom she had not checked in with for a few weeks. Her friend said “leave me alone” in a loud voice. Moriah recoiled and tried to hide her feeling of rejection.
When she found Druid Bernie and complained about her friend, the Druid laughed and said this was a wonderful opportunity to practice forgiveness. But what about that feeling she got that her friend’s leg reached across the room and kicked her in the stomach.
Bernie said that she had that feeling only because she had a place in her guts where she hung up all her resentments, and her cupboard was overflowing with over full cups, leaning on her back bone and disturbing her long bones. Those missiles of energy that are flung at her will miss her if there is no hook for them inside. She was reaching out to catch them, from her own special place of angry energy.
How will I improve my anger she whined to the druid? Well you could for a start give back the foot that invades you energetically. You could cover it with red holly berries, and ivy and all kind of decorations and laugh and cut the connection and start seeing the person for who she really is. She is a marvelous woman that fights her way through her own struggles, the same as you.
You forgive her by wishing love, joy and mercy to reign down on her and in that way, the love, joy and mercy comes down on you. It is a given that you are forgiven as you forgive her and all your little china cups from the past, full of resentments are emptied out and refilled with light.
As Moriah lay there on the bank on top of a bed of the big brown cruncy sycamore leaves, some tiny creature found her neck and as it went lower Moriah was a bit frantic. As she tried to feel its whereabouts on her chest this agile thing evaded her fingers. In meditation she tried to still her body, mind and heart. She abandoned the stillness even as she stayed lying down. When she was sure she had it she came back with one of her long grey hairs but no little creature. She settled some more.
She thought of the old druidic prayer, which had you say “ I am praying to you, my friend. Thank you for doing to me all you have done and I am sorry for doing to you all that I have done. “ This was followed with “I am praying to you Moriah, Thank you for doing to me all you have done and I am sorry for doing to you all that I have done to you.” There were many days involved with saying this prayer with forty often mentioned. The old Karmic idea that everything had its reasons and acceptance was a good idea. She did not want to carry around her friend’s leg forever.
She lay on the bank of the river and let her resentment flow off her into that beautiful river, like a flock of geese, all traveling together away from her. As she meditated she felt cushioned on every side in a bed of white mistletoe berries making her feel airborne. She felt pulled out into the blue sky and slipped around in the curtains of blue and green. As she finished up an ant was crawling along the side of her hand.
Morah’s friend came out to join her and brought some great fruit cake she got from the monks on the Hill of Na Costa. They talked about oil remedies’ for chapped hands, fuzzy hair and blocked up ears.
Moriah turned over on her stomach and inched down the bank toward the water – she had a lot of clothes on and had to take care she did not fall head first in. It was a balancing act between hugging the ground and letting go enough to relax and not fall in. The warm sun on that leaf strewn crevice was glorious.
As the evening winter wind got up again so did Moriah and she went her way fortified with the visit with her friend, the sun and with her meditations.
“By the hook and by the crook of it, that is where I am holding my anger.” She said, as she made up her mind to keep the cups cleaned out sending out blessings often and always as needed promising to serve the truth that would make her free. Love from Rose
Rose Longworth Counseling 