But there is the rub – I always wanted so much. Whether it was the huge rocks in the lot beside my Belmont house or whether it was a big number of things at my house in Harrisonburg, that needed fixing, I was forever imagining them done. The crack in the ceiling needed reassessing and the fan was too slow or not working.
The door to the basement, for which I had a lot of wants, was always looming at me. It was made of particleboard. It became host to a colony of ants who found good eating and a creche for their young, all within and under that door. And I wanted a real door replacement, complete with windows, swinging open, letting in Gods heavenly light. Those old flat doors were hard for me to life up every time I wanted them opened. It was hard also to watch the ants running around trying to save their young progeny every time I opened the door.
So why am I shocked that someone is now living with me that wants to do all that and then some, The hedge is in hand, the ivy is pulled out to within an inch of its life, the grass is cut in diagonal lines, the grass is pulled out of the crevices in the walk.
It is stunning to consider that all the imagining has resulted in having a person show up and do these things for me.
It caused me to consider that my thinking has taken on a whole new meaning and that which I imagined relating to a relationship with God is what I now have.
Down at the river when we were cooking supper out on the grill, a woman gesticulated toward me. I waved and was on my way. Later she came to have her photo taken with me and explained she could see my aura, that it was light around me and she could see it. She wept as she spoke to me. She was from South America.
Her friend translated for her.
I became a little nervous as I though I smelled alcohol on her breath. I was a little huffy for my own space, as she caught a grip on my hand. It is hard to not get inflated when you are told such things. My natural huffiness kept my feet on the ground.
At the river today the water is thundering along beside the steep bank. We had a few nice rains. As I looked up to the top, the almost straight up steep bank was capped with green trees rounding against the sky. The steep bank on the other side from me, was strewn with downed tree trunks at different angles cross-crossing in the spaces between the trees.
I sat into the water two times, a little afraid to venture out very far. I was in the water close to the edge splashing about, lying back and rolling over to give myself a good dunking. I got out and dried off and heated my body in the sun that was shining down on me from between the trees. I am a little heated in the face right now and feeling toasty as the evening wears on.
Before we left the area, we stopped at a watering hole that is deep but safer as a line of rocks holds the water back. I am familiar with this watering hole. I jumped in there over my head, and I was pushed back to shallower water and felt a lovely tingle from the fast moving stream. I slept most of the way home; wild horses could not have kept me awake.
From the dream worlds, I am hearing about those feelings of great empathy for those people within us who are locked away in a fast moving train, directionless. The owner of the dream wept as she felt into her empathy. I was reminded of the Revelation verses about the church of Laodicea. The Angel of this church says that we need to buy from that angel white raiment and gold tried in the fire because we are blind and naked in our approach to our lives and our souls and what is needed for us now.
And there was that dream of the convicts who are in another dream. The dreamer is breaking down and starting again with the entrance of empty nesting and loss and grief of a recently deceased difficult parent. We are given the choice, as always, to cut ourselves off and be ruled by those convicts even as we need to become aware of those influence that will stymie out efforts to move forward.
We often concoct a plan to avoid the path, which is straight forward, wherever the spirit leads.
About that imagination, for all the things that needed to get done, that now are getting done, I realize that the consistent use of the imagination to see something done can also be used to commit with God.
We can imagine into being with God, working with God, feeling God’s love in our hearts, and when we really feel it to recognize it and wait on it again and again.
It is a strange lesson to learn, that I just have to take my relationship with God seriously and happily and for real. Breathing into that emptying out is always a good thing, with more and more of spirit and less and less of self.
I could not find some information I knew I had written down in the back of a book. I looked in so many books over a six-week period, but never was able to find it. Then yesterday, I referenced God for help, and said that at some level, I knew where it was. I let my eyes stray and they lit on my dream book, and sure enough it was all there waiting for me, on that back page where I squirreled it away.
So I think I am going to try to be more serious in the faith that I can move mountains. I can be happier; I can say prayers of forgiveness for someone who has peeved me to death and back again. Three strands of the spirit; wisdom, power and strength, when woven together will help me sit into the spirit, gently rocked, stronger, with that strength, I have been asking for, for over forty years, that wisdom and that power. It is there for the taken, like on a shelf that is a little higher up but never out of reach of the soul, who is so happy to be asked to pull it toward you to find it right there in the back of our heads. We are made for this spirit link.
Part of this spirit link tells us of our interconnection and our ability to send light and love and healing to others. So I pray for you and you pray for me. Love you all. Rose.