Beads – Psychoanalytic and Body Work

I was half asleep on the massage table, and my session was over; body work of reflexology and of “unwinding my arm”.

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Ceramics by rose, flowers by Goddess

My arm had been tightening for the last couple of months. As I became awake, I dreamed/half saw the navy blue marbles, grape like and alive, that flew out of my shoulders and on to the floor in all directions. I was puzzled but kept referencing the scene, as I know that there was numinosity in this happening and it would deliver something to me if I paid attention to it.

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Similar in color to beads I saw

A writer’s exercise had me write about an object from its point of view, and I choose some beads. I pretended that they were the rosary beads that were held in the hands of Marian, my partner’s deceased wife, when she prayed the rosary. I have those beads and my partner told me Marian specifically prayed a rosary with them for me at 2.00 a.m. every night, after she met me, a few years into her marriage.

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The beads that Marian used to pray for me, nightly at 2.00 am.

A complete rosary takes about 15 minutes, with 54 individual prayers involved, depending on the person saying the prayers. In fact she left her marriage bed to do this for me for some years, until her illness interfered.

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The beads are hanging on a candle holder.

It took three days after I saw the vision of those marbles to realize the message of the above. Meditation in particular this morning gave me the words “Sour Grapes” to go with them and I instantly knew what they were about. The “Ah ha” moment was upon me.

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Mandala with marbles

The writing exercise triggered in me a poem about all my sour focus over incidences that happened in the sixteen years I was apart from my partner.

I was holding resentment toward a woman I met only once and continued with a type of chewing that was soured in my shoulders, even after her death. Those navy blue grapes, Concord, are sweet when you suck them into your mouth but have a bitter skin when chewed upon.

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Poppy Center

The bodywork brought to the surface what was in storage in me. It is bitter in my bones and flesh and tightens and distorts me physically. Seeing that color in particular has the ability to help me change my focus. Actively engaging with the image was my work to complete the healing started by the bodywork, illuminated by the sour grapes poem and finally chased our with the light of meditation.

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Beautiful Poppy

The bitter poem is now named as sour grapes. It is unlikely that I will start chewing on them again. That great navy blue color, dulled and almost black, was powerful right side of the brain medicine for me.

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Violets from heaven

I will incorporate here the better sentiments from the poem:

I am the beads that survive Marian’s death, that sees him returned to where Marian thought he belonged. I am the beads that will be buried with Rose after her last breaths.

I am the beads that say they loved again, even better, in the short time that is left, a sweet sensor, not broken but held together by both their prayers before God.

May Marian rest in peace. I now appreciate her prayers for me. Very few people have consistently prayed for me, in the night, with cold feet over a period of years and I am now grateful.

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Colors like this come from Heaven

A Recent Dream

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The image above comes form dream work and art therapy around the male energy from an individual’s dream. The young man with the bag of fast food made a barter that went sour with the older male energy, where the older wants to eat the big cheeseburger belonging to the younger male. And of course the archetype of “The Fonz” is in the middle of it all, being hailed by the dancing woman. It was a lively and fun dream to work with, where there was a whole-hearted attempt to engage with the male energies. It can take some time to get to this sweet spot.

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Ceramics I did years ago. I lost the top of the head and so I put some violets in there to cover the bald spot.

If you want to do a little drawing of your own sweet dream images, to see what it is that will lift you free of your own old greedy male energies, do come see me, so you can dance yourself over the blocks and all the while singing your own song, and dancing your very own dance, with your own Fonz or Marlyn/Mona depending on your preference. I look forward to hearing from you. Love from Rose.

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About rlongwort

Licensed Professional Counselor. Dream specialist.
This entry was posted in dreams, Mandala, Visions, Watercolors and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Beads – Psychoanalytic and Body Work

  1. Seosamh says:

    Brave and insightful, as ever.

  2. Amazing and very brave work–thank you for helping all of us do the hardest work of forgiving and accepting! The body responds when we truly let go! This is a true revelation of prayer work for others~~very mysterious! Your images are always stunning! Thank you!

  3. Rose, that was amazing! I am very curious about your work with dreams, and hope to learn more while we are in Guatemala.

  4. Miriam says:

    I love the significance of the beads, how she prayed for you with those beads and now you have them, laden with all that potential! And looks like your work is gradually allowing you to access it 🙂 What a blessing ❤️

    • rlongwort says:

      Many thanks for comments. It is always a challenge to decide what is too much revelation and what is ok. It takes a week to dress it down and feel I can post the words. It is a blessing to have you read my words.

  5. Margot Bergman says:

    Hi Rose, Dream, Saturday am:    I am at a gathering of mostly women listening to Rose Longworth speak. It seems to be a house/home setting. When she finishes she seems to be as if waking up from a trance. She asks me, “what did I say?”    I feel a little unprepared, but I say, “you were describing your relationship with your partner and saying that when a difficulty arises, you tend to go to the more positive response.    A younger woman interrupts and says, “oh no, you’re corrupting what she said.”    I say, “oh. Then what did she say?” But the woman can’t answer.    I continue, “You were contrasting that with the earlier relationship in which you went toward the more negative reaction.” There still seems to be disagreement.    So I ask Rose, “Well, what WOULD you say? Meaning, HAVE SAID.” [end]    The younger woman resembled the intense, rather unbalanced wife (slender, short strait bob) of someone. They were trying to adopt two difficult foster children, girls. This some 15/20 years ago. It wasn’t working out at that time. [Funny story: I remember she came to me with a little plastic towel hook in her hand and apologized that she had mistaken it for the doorknob on the inside of the bathroom door. She had wrenched it off of the door in her intention to get out.]    The night before I had been mulling over the day’s blog about the rosary  beads, etc. You portray yourself as a grumpy, dissatisfied person, which quality I’ve not noticed.

    Two more death dreams I’ve had:1st: There is some terrible disaster and I am totally involved in trying to help or save people. Then I open a container and see my drowned body and realize I am dead.2nd: I am in a computer repair shop. My laptop in on a table between me and the technician. He asks me if I need a new battery. I say that I would be happy to get one if in stock.  But that what I really need is a new hard drive. I describe it to him as a small black box located in the center of the computer (no relation to reality, I assume). Later, we are chatting and he says he recognizes me from some presentation I made sometime….”Hard drive” could be more energy or ambition, but most likely depicts the physical heart. Thanks again for your bloggings. Have a good day. love, margot

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