Mariah entertained a friend, Roisin Dearg, who was visiting from out-of-town. They had a fine time going around together for a few weeks. Mariah wanted her to tell dreams but she kept them to herself. She wanted Mariah to study the I Ching. They stayed in their friendship, walking, going to the river, playing games and eating some meals together.
At the end before her departure, Mariah left a note for her grumbling about this inability to see her to say goodbye properly and also said she appreciated her. Rosin Dearg then yelled at her and said Mariah was very petty and Roisin Dearg turned on her heel and left . Mariah got a fright as it was unexpected and had a feeling of leaving her body and could not sleep very well that night.
She had lots of words to say to herself and to her absent friend. She went into a number of prayers but found herself time and again as busy as an airport terminal, where the thoughts were checked for weapons and many things were confiscated. She prayed for help to understand why all this had happened.
She had a dream of a number of children lined up against the wall and the one girl, was in the middle of them, with so much beautiful strawberry blonde hair, plaited down her back. The father was in front of them all lecturing them in a loud mean voice. She did not hear the words but felt how his words were hitting the wall and the group of children and one in particular. This central child left her body in spirit to avoid the onslaught.
After this dream Mariah could no longer hear the sound of the words of her friend as if they no longer were up close and personal with her. It was easier to go into silence toward morning and to feel peace come.
She then slept late and spent the morning sitting in a warm sunshiny corner soaking up the sun, as the shortest day of the year approached. The place was quiet and the sun itself seemed to be the thing of beauty shining on everything warming her up through her many layers. A black-capped chickadee sang his little song from the nearby tree.
The cat stared balefully at Mariah. He was not friendly to her but choose another place in the sunshine nearby. For some reason that cat seemed to leave his body when he saw her too near him and often rushed away if she got into his space or made any noise.
She fancied the cat had a bad experience with others in the past and was taking no chances on trusting her, running away when she got too close to others.
The following morning Mariah decided to read the I Ching books a bit outside as the sun had come out warming the porch. The cat was snuggled up on a chair that blocked the wind. The cat jumped up in alarm as she pulled open the door but Mariah tiptoed on out and the cat gradually got lower and lower in the chair until he was not visible to her, sunk into sleep and cushions. Mariah was happy she had not alarmed him this time into running away. When she got to the I Ching there were a lot of words in there, as there was in the Bible she read earlier.
She sat back and wondered what her next move to understand better would be. Some of the words from the I Ching made her consider how her ego had become large in the whole affair above, and was swinging around in general in her life.
Helpers from the I Ching had her look at the dream again
Somewhere she got the idea to look again at the dream as applying only to herself, Mariah. She thought of how she was her father’s girl and identified so much with him. Her inner man, her Animus, was more than influenced by him, it was grown up by him, his attitudes and his opinions. Once again they will not serve her very well when she lets them be her rule of life. She would have to give birth to her father out of the side of her head, get rid of her half grumbling, half selfish self.
She was the one lecturing the young spirit of the feminine in her, goddess in herself, making her feminine side leave her body and letting him have his lectures, pinning her to the wall with attitude and grumbling opinions about what others should be doing, pushing her out of her body, high up, and not in touch with her heart.
She sat in her heart in silence for a while as she felt the shift inside from being in the left side of her brain into a balance with the right side. Now she could go on into the remainder of the day in a more balanced place. The end.
Rose got up a little early to see a stormy sunrise. She stayed in for a while as she got all those exercises done that were given to her by her Physical Therapist. The more she did them the better she felt. She also had huge resistance to doing them and sometimes days went by without doing them. She wondered if she was having animus opinions about healing herself further. She would end the writing with some silence, and hold her lapis lingas for a few minutes. She loved how its dark blue glistened in the sunshine.
And if you have a few dreams that you have been pinning to others and letting yourself off the hook, be sure to contact me and we will see if we can investigate the animus opinions which are always right and never helpful to us. I look forward to working with more of you. May Peace be with you. May you be able to sink beneath the level of the cold wind as we go through this winter. May the cold wind of the ego miss you completely. Love from Rose.
(I have a business license and a professional counselor licence and can be found as a listing of one of the Counselors in Harrisonburg in Psychology Today, where all my particulars can be perused.)