When I experienced a feeling, a movement of energy, through my chest region, I was already writing about Mary as Goddess, Mother of God. The end result is a poem(see recent blogs originally posted about three blogs back) about the energy, about energy in me, about bringing in that energy into my heart and into the backbone, about the archetype of Mary, Kundalini all rolled into one. That there is the possibility to experience this energy is to be strived for, to be written about, to be meditated into, to be silenced into the receiving of such sacred bounty.
Our ability to paint goes back 50,000 years plus and many people are affected by these ancient images on cave walls. I hope these images on my blogs have a special affect on you to help with bringing you closer to an understanding of what you are made up of, where you are going and where you are from, and how available the energy of Mother Mary is to you once you start going after it, laying yourself open to it.
When I was at a meeting, the fearless leader talked about the mind and how it is connected to the intellect, the will and the emotions. We hear so little about these ideas I had to stop her in her tracks. What does all this mean. I was determined to figure it all out.
The heart signifies affection and to Him first. Am I learning to be more in tune with God’s Spirit? What is going into my mind? Am I using my strength for God? People said things. I scribbled it all down and then some.
It was just at this time I felt my brain emptying out and there was a lotus shape opening in my head. I could see and feel it. All my thoughts were tucked in perfectly, into each one of those leaves of the lotus. Then they all flew away like a great flock of birds and in their nest was left the lotus shape, opening wider with each breath. And when my brain was emptied, the light was left in there and it was a lovely thing to see and feel. I volunteered this experience. The leader told me to draw it, and it was already drawn as if I had known this inner event was coming to me. We never thought to stop our yacking, drop into silence, as we went full speed ahead to the end of the book.
It has been fun to discover how to play my Mother’s “Sweet Heart of Jesus” hymn. It has some high notes and when the choir, a few kids and my Mom, would sing in that big cavernous church we always squealed out those high notes. When the priest and church joined in it was a different sound filled with resonance with the heft of cathedral sounds. When trying to play it on my melodica, I always balked at those three flat notes lying there in the middle of the other notes.
But I know the tune so well and know enough about scale to help me try and play what sounds right. Now I find I can play it without any problem, slowly and with love and interest. It is a way to slow down the morning, feel into energy that comes with this focus on the fingers. Singing to the Heart of Jesus is always a good idea for me. I encourage you to sing your favorite songs and plant your spiritual pleasure into the middle of them. It becomes another type of meditation. So many people tell me in counseling how much music helps them.
I always ask people about their spiritual life in counseling and this week I was given the image of God coming to visit with green eyes, visible through sunglasses. I love that hint of the green eyes, even through the glass darkly. An other images given to me was of a beloved baby vulture, a favorite bird to help clean up what is already dead. When something is already dead, giving it a proper burial is always a good thing as a way to have respect for the dead thing. When you do good inner work, naming it and putting the old away respectfully, burying it, will bring closure.
In my dream I see the side of me that likes to go her way and not mind my prayerful intentions. The dream is mostly forgotten except for that part where there is an intense screaming and resisting. “I see you” I say to her and “Stop It.” I got that latter phrase from a fellow dreamer. I am smiling a little after I identify who that person in the dream means to me. She is spirited but goes her own way off course whenever it suits her.
There never seems to be enough time to teach what I am learning through my experiences, my meditation and my home counseling practice, so this writing becomes that outlet, to write out the energy and to have afterthoughts about dreams. I hope you are writing out your own dreams and drawing a picture or two. I love what appears on paper (when I am not planning and not trying to make a perfect picture) according to my conscious mind. Sliding past that conscious mind, when you doodle, opens the brain to listening and learning and the unconscious has a chance to speak from there.
Press the like button, the share button as you are moved to do so. I love this writing and feel heartened to know you liked and wanted to share it too. Thanks. Love from Rose