The dream went like this: I am with a couple I know and the woman’s name is my name, Rose. The man of that couple says something and I say “If I want your opinion I will give it to you!” We all laugh heartily at this and I notice that the man touched that part of my leg where I have pain, just under the knee in the outside right.
The above pain was one of the first indications that my leg was turning in a way that was painful. I did not recognize it at the time. Some years have gone by since I noticed that. The connection between some twists in the body and those in the mind is a matter of opinion.
Yesterday I asked my sister in England about something that was troubling me but was not moved to change my opinion. “Do not bother doing that as nothing will change” she said.
My old friend with whom I discussed my dreams in the nineties would say that I had a strong negative animus, opinion, inner male and in this case I am making fun of the opinion of the male. The Jungian slant would be that a woman gets her opinions from her father and at some point the woman will have to abandon those opinions, in favor of a more nurturing way of treating herself and others. The dream gives me pause.
Also the last blog had a number of my opinions relating to another’s dream. I did not sit and discuss all that with him so I am wondering if all those opinions of mine are not so helpful. I am challenging my own opinions here with this new dream. I will do some drawings down at the river as it is a lovely day again and a dip or two into the water is in order. Seeing through a glass darkly or face to face would be helpful.
At the River
Of course many things happen at the river. The river is much higher than last time, as much rain fell and filled it into a fast magnificent flow. We were able to get into the water at the swimming hole and be swung around into the shallow stones. I went in with my walking sticks and was pushed over when I squatted. I enjoyed the submergence, as I had been trying to do that for the last hour. Two lovely people ran to my rescue and I submitted to the help. I did get in again and got my head under so that I would have a good baptism.
As I was standing in knee deep water I spoke to a woman who had much grief ten year ago when her two-month-old baby died. Other family members died near that time belonging to her husband. There was great chaos.
She told me the dream of the rainbow socks where she was sitting apposite a recently deceased twelve year old in-law girl who put the “souls” of her feet to hers and she felt she was connecting to the soul of her deceased two month old baby.
I just love the way dreams span the divide between the living and the dead. We also talked about how this baby changed her completely and while wildly broken was able to knit herself together in a new way. The woman stood in the water and I helped put some water on her head. This is something I often do instead of dropping down into the water over my head. We were both refreshed by our respective dips.
In my practice I was given another dream of a woman’s feet being covered in sticky stuff and I asked her to bath her feet in hot water each evening as she contemplated release from the sticky stuff in her life. Finding a ritual to coincide with a dream is a good way of loving yourself.
On Friday evening I got it in my head to deliver my taxes to the City as I awaited a great storm to land. The sky was low and full of dark clouds and four buzzards floated, black against that navy blue, in the rising air and were lovely to watch.
When I went to deliver my taxes, there was a big car there and a woman in the driver seat putting together a check to pay her taxes. I went around her car to drop my taxes off in the drop box and she apologized.
We bemoaned the fact that the only sure things in life are “death and taxes.” She talked to me of her mother’s death ten years ago and how she is still paying taxes on her house, even as it leaks and is filled with her mother’s things. And then she told me of the murder death of her son. She has never slept in her bed since that time. Hopefully my wish to be helpful to her is enough to ease her heart. She told me she loves to talk on the phone for two hours with her customers about her life and their lives and that satisfies her now. The storm blew over.
She remembered talking to me before and I remembered her smile and her face in some way too. She remembered I was wearing a big coat.
Sitting around in and near the river for a few hours showed me that the water finds it’s way between the stones and I have to find the way between what is stony in my life. That which is flowing fast past me will round me off, so that I am different by reason of the decisions I make. As for those opinions of mine, hopefully I will keep reaching past them into the flow that will carry me between the stones in my life. Sending out a prayer for you. Love from Rose.