“Are you ok then?” one of my teachers asks. Luckily that morning I had something to report. 

It all goes back to Bible Study and the words that God will answer your prayers, in ways everlasting rather on our terms. St Paul said he asked God trice to heal his infirmity but God said he had to leave it there to keep Paul humble. Paul seemed delighted with himself reporting on this issue. 

Then there was the assertion that God knows what you have need of before you even ask. “I know the plans I have for you…” 

I completed my morning Aquarian Sadhana and I was transitioning to my little block of silent meditation. I was referencing God in the higher chakras and thought of this God knowing what I have need of relating to leg issues and I felt a wave of something coming down through my body from above. It was slight but noticeable and it came with the thought of “God knows what I have need of.”   

The huge difference in all of this is that I usually think I have to figure out how to heal myself all the time. This keeps me running around in circles, from exercises to massages, from food choices to scalding baths. 

What a relief to think I do not have to mindlessly do a load of things by rote.

I have to let this energy of God come down through me and have its way with me. This is different from the way I try and get a hold on this stick of God and beat myself into shape with it. My new mantra for today is God wants to help and heal me. No more to be said. And today is the acceptable time.  

Is there something else to be done? I had planned on oatmeal boiled up with a load of dates for breakfast. I could feel those soft mushy dates almost getting stuck on the roof of my mouth. Then as I started to make this breakfast my eyes lit on the plastic see through jar of corn grits and I had to change my greedy plan and have a savory breakfast.       

It is Saturday morning and I was finishing up on taking atomodine in certain quantities in the morning following suggestions from the Edgar Cayce readings relating to arthritis. I had decided on the three-drop regimen. Then two mornings ago I realized that I had to put five drops into my cup accidently. The Edgar Cayce readings have a great spectrum of suggestions and it is hard to decide which one will work for you. I felt that accidental five drops was a way for me to change to what might suit me better. 

Directions given to you by using the intuitive muscle brings you to know for yourself. The above is an example of me trying to be intuitive about how to work with the help God wants to give me on a daily basis. 

In my practice I am working with teens again. I forgot the pure need to be creative with them, especially over telehealth. One told me a dream or rather could not tell me a dream but said something awful was going to happen in her dream.  

For me, any suggestion of a dream makes me happy to hear. “Were there people in the dream?” I ask. “Yes two people” she said.  “Draw them,” I said. She immediately complied.  My homework to her was to develop a conversation between these dream figures and we may get an answer to her feelings of dread both inside and outside the dream world. And if she does not get to do this I can still work with those images that came from her unconscious, in our next session. 

And there are the parents whose support I rely on all the time. They are wonderful people. Sometimes I want to tell my office manager “no more teens for me.”  I have been working with teens on and off since starting my counseling career nearly twenty years ago. I did teen groups in the Children’s McNulty Center working with teen that were court ordered to anger management classes and I also worked with teens and parents in a court ordered group. 

I also worked in Prevention Work in Schools, mostly High Schools, at the beginning of my counseling career. 

I got some serious training from my bosses and the sheer number of groups I did gives me a comfort working with young people. 

Maybe God thinks this is what I have need of “to prosper and not harm me.”  Healing will come through me in their direction, and it will even flow back my way as I do what I love best. Sometimes the Shenandoah river flows backwards in times of flood.

And what of the dreams? I had a strong one about the person I was working with in a forgiveness prayer highlighting my fears about setting boundaries. 

I did a forty-day forgiveness prayer, which could be done over forty minutes, forty days or forty hours. I choose the forty hours. My phone obliged as I got started, ringing a little bell every hour on the hour.  I had to do it through one night, and am not sure if I got all the hours covered. I mumbled the six lines many times as I turned and twisted in my bed. 

It was a strong experience. The forgiveness prayer has you pray to the person and to yourself. There is a thankfulness line for all we did for each other and a forgiveness line to each other for all we done to each other. I felt some fog lift from over me and it helped me solve the problem that I was having, from my point of view. 

Even with forgiveness prayers, we have to remember we are not in charge of the other person in any way. It just became clear what I would have to do and I acknowledged the soul residing in the other person also.

Love from Rose.