What God Thinks of me

Hopefully God will not mid about the hair.

I did a small workshop at a gathering of friends and the subject was dreams. I concentrated on two dreams and as I peppered the one dreamers with questions, I gave the other dreamer time to contemplate. It was then that one of the dreamers, an active retired man, volunteered toward the very end of the workshop that some peculiar thought came to him on his way to the gathering.

He said that during that drive, in the heated and crowded traffic, that he started to wonder what God thought of him. I forget his dream now and what the dream brought to him but a difficult male figure was front and center. I do not forget his question about what God thought of him. It was a breath of air from above, a communication to him, to wonder where he is, as he stepps into late seventies.

Relaxing among the trees, figuring out a way to get the bear to leave the camera alone.

I have since got the feeling that God is laughing at me as I carry on behind his back.When I slip into a depression over what I perceive as a rejection, I have a hard time bucking myself out of that. I have to put a blessing out toward the offender and then distract with a mantra, a repeated prayer and finally come around to seeing the motivation of that person, which, as “The Four Agreements” says has nothing to do with me.  Others are motivated by their insecurities, their addiction to perfection etc. 

Pure relaxation out among the trees.

For good measure I can also say “I must owe them something” from a past life and that may be in the mix. Sometimes I can be more specific and say “I don’t have to go over that again,” a vague memory of harming that person in some past incarnation. This usually levels the playing field for me and I can leave down my gun and sword, my weeping and gnashing of teeth. 

Being chased by a little circle of life – make be he prefers the way things are, even if he has lost his back shoe … my back shadow shoe.

Even on the way to visit with this person, I have the choice to go over things in a negative slant, “woe is me, because they did such and such.”   I have to check myself and pray into a good meeting with that person. That reach out into the positive pulls me out of myself into a oneness. 

It turned out to be very helpful, with that person saying that they would have been “pissed as hell” if I did to them what they did to me. I acknowledged their valid reasons for doing what they did and they hoped “we could get passed that.” 

All of that is to say, these better vibrations, claimed as best I could, combined to give me a feeling of gratefulness for the rest of the day, and I felt agreeable and in good form, to the point I thought my life was wonderful. 

Love you Over and Over from a song by Annabeth McNamara. …. Can we do that all over the place.

The big Santa Clause in the sky, dissolved into a pouring down of warmth in the heart for others, a warmth for myself, is my answer.

 I am doing Qi Gong by Zoom with Sundri in Trinidad and with Elizabeth across town and stood out on my back porch looking at the wonderful colorful maple as the end of the yard. The mountains skirt out on both sides of this tree, around in a big semicircle. The leaves, while vanishing fast, are still lit up in many places out in front of me. The sun strikes some irregular shapes, onto the nearer hills. 

Some color left on the tree in the back yard.

I have been practicing Qi Gong for about twenty years with Grayson, with Elizabeth, with Jason and with Amara (Shen Dao fame)  and have the idea now that a daily practice is great. Sometimes lately I go into my open garage which catches the morning sun and pepper around in a whirlwind of moves raising that “Qi” inside of me. I wake it up and slip and slop around in it until my body is nearer normal and happy to tackle/cackle the day with a little more elasticity and energy. 

There is the added bonus that I can pray into the moves I make. Through Kundalini Practice with Siri Amrita, I have prayers from Sanskrit language, which I can weave around me with that Jade Dragon from Qi Gong. “Parvan Guru” translates to breath as teacher. Allah and out breath sound “OOO,” came naturally to me as I practiced. (my Muslim clients would put a hand up above their head, and recite some words which sounded like “OmDe Allah”as they prayed into something in the session, they might want to ask God about or Thank God for.

At a meeting in Virginia Beach, an attendee said that the reason that Yahweh is nameless is that it is said with breath only.  Yah is the inbreathe and Weh is the out breath. Try it, it is the sound of “Nirnami” the nameless one. 

I do not want to leave out my mother religion. When ever I start meditating and many other times I will sing “Holy God we praise Thy Name, Lord of all we bow before thee, infinite, thy vast domaine, Holy, Holy is Thy Name.” Looking out here this is true, of the vast Domaine and if I look up at night at the stars.. even more so. (Fulll Moon and Eclipse on 8th November.)

Besides, there is the promise that I will make it into some “God book” for making such prayers to God’s name. 

Vast Domaine in every Direction

I encourage you to set time aside, in the night, as you exercise, as you walk, to go toward the vast domaine inside. 

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I had a little chat with that tree this morning. I “communed” with it and if it did not answer me back? As I stared into the beauty of the tree before me, the tree appreciated this and drew me into those leaves and had me look back at myself on the old deck and say “was I not very beautiful too, just as wonderfully made as the tree itself in all its color and mystery.” I will leave you with this thought, praying for my readers, and sending out love.

And that is an answer to the man’s question above, coming from a tree in the back yard. A little love for self, a little love for other and nature, in this case the tree, and a little love fro God’s creations and the creator herself is helpful .  Love from Rose.  

About rlongwort

Licensed Professional Counselor. Dream specialist.
This entry was posted in Breathing Exercises, Dream Counseling, Psychoanalytic, Spiritual, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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