Old heart new Heart

Burning out the old and bringing in the new is about clearing out selfish love from my heart so I can entertain selfless love. In order to do that I have to clear out old ancestral inheritance and some patriarchial nurture from my childhood. Come along on this journey to find more of yourself,  your own wholeness, as this has helped me find more of my own puzzle.

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The fire that started it all

The Dream

I had a dream that I am leaving my house that is burning down. I wonder if I will go back in to save something from upstairs but know it is folly to do that. I come back to look at it later and it is an old farmhouse burned out. It is not safe and boards are falling down. I decide against going in. I realize it does not affect my writing.

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The old farmhouse on fire

Real Life Context of the Dream

The house that is burning is actually the one my parents came to, when they got married. It was an arranged marriage and they hardly knew each other. They each had a farm and the priests arranged the union. There were a few visits in the parlor, complete with very polite talk, followed by the ceremony and honeymoon in Dublin. The age of one of them was kept a secret, as no one wanted this five year differential to upset the unions.

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My Parents home from Honeymoon. Artwork by Annabeth McNamara

My maternal grandmother, Mariah, was waiting their arrival with anxiety and forgot to close in the chickens. The red fox had his visit that night to the henhouse. The smell of warm chickens lured the red tailed fox closer and closer until his nose led him to the low one foot high door. It was a dark house but the fox is a night time hunter and he felt at home. The chickens made little noise as they fell one after the other to his jaws. There was no notice from the house, no concern from the humans. Granny was criticized and blamed.

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Monty dog standing in for the fox

This slaughter by the fox may have been an omen of her difficulty getting along with her son in law, my father,  and she later left her place on the farm until she was a much  older woman. My father took good care of her then.

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Grandmother’s conflict about leaving me as a toddler

My grandmother was with me through the first year of my life. She cared for me and slept next to me and saw to my every need. When she left my father created a wooden box for me, to take care of my foraging in the shelves for sugar.

I was conflicted about my love for her, and the value of the feminine in myself because of my father’s patriarchal attitude to the females in his life, having left an adoring mother to live with two strange women, his wife and mother-in-law. Neglecter of chickens, producers of four children in a few years, was stressful for him.

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Granny as a young woman loving on me

My Interpretation of the Dream. 

This dream is about the effects on me of my childhood environment, the old farmhouse, and what went down then. The attitudes born out in my parent’s  arranged marriage was sucked into me and has left a mark on my heart. He had that superior attitude to women and I was wont to join him in his criticisms. My mother held my hand as a child and I was her confidant about how difficult it was to be married.

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A Man from another dream standing in for my critical father. It is of course a part of me.

Ancestral Wound

Ancestral inheritance also affects me as, one side of our family line came to Ireland as conquerers some centuries before. It leaves a mark on all involved,  having to maintain a certain position in order to hold on to what was granted.

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The Ancestors

The head has to be held up pretty high, and the back watched carefully to hold on. I have to consider this inheritance especially when I find myself feeling superior to and critical of others. Anxiety and fear of others also needs to be considered here.

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The beautiful wild roses, blossoms and bud, by the Wayne River, smelling lovely.

Conclusion

In my dream I am pointing at the house and lamenting its loss. I want to go back to what I had. I realize that there is nothing in the burned out shell for me there now. Such a burning loss is described as, weeping and wailing from afar, wishing the mountains would fall on me, not liking to make a change, when the self love energy of the heart chakra is turned out. The night before having the above dream, I dreamed of a fire, the fire that gave me the burning farmhouse.

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If you have a burning desire to tend to your own fires, your losses and the wounds you may carry, I would love to work with you. May the wind of spirit be at your back bringing you clearness about inheritance, both recent and ancient, and selfless love.

Original artwork and photos by Rose Longworth LPC.

Above Photo of Rose Longworth and editing by Annabeth McNamara.

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About rlongwort

Licensed Professional Counselor. Dream specialist.
This entry was posted in Ancestral Inheritance, dreams, Interpretation, Mandalas, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Old heart new Heart

  1. rlongwort says:

    Reblogged this on Rose Longworth Counseling.

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