Mariah had a few clan’s people who lived in the close vicinity to her. She was very close with Roisin Dubh prior to her union some years back. But since that time she often felt on the outs with her and she puts up with it gently as Roisin now had to cleave to her new leprechaun, Seano, and Mariah did not feel wanted and needed in the old ways. She was basically happy for her for the most part. She would let it go if that door was locked to her on occasion. She understood the inconvenience of the unexpected visitor, the third wheel.
It was easy to have a misunderstanding
And if Roisin says that she wants Mariah to stay away from her festival, that Mariah does not even know is going on, then she has to swallow it. She notices how it pulls up the rags and bones of rejection in her heart and gives her plenty to chew on. Cough, spit, release and let go she says. There is nothing else to do. The bones will only cut up her throat and the rags, who wants rags in the heart? When she heard she should stay away her heart felt crisscrossed, chopped up, a frozen lick. Like when her grandmother left her in the cold place when she was a year old. Now she remembers she is no longer a year old and she is not cold and not going to this festival is fine. It does not suit to have Mariah wandering in off the beaten path without an invitation when she is outside the realm of Roisin’s immediate family plans. It is ok.
Sometimes she was just seeing a reflection
She meditated in the night considering the whole thing and not considering the whole thing so she could get really silent in herself. If only she could pull the pain of dislike, the caul, over her head and lay it on the floor so it would not be inside in the way, between her and the pale blue rippling light.
A leaf units way down through the blue light
She through of the truth versus the lie. If she was in the truth then she did not give her energy to the lie and she would be free. The lie was always nearby wanting to syphon off energy for its one uses. She often duped herself into the lie that she and Roisin were one and the same, with the power with her as she was older. The feeling of rejection is only an excuse for the lie to gain control of her when they are on separate but authentic paths on that day and they both can be in the truth of celebrating their own lives in different ways. When dumped the heavy lie shrivels up and dies. She wanted to walk out into love without letting the lie have the use of her.
She sang the mantras that lit up the rags in the heart, that washed them so she could string them up as many rainbow colored prayer flags, sending out good wishes for the festival. And there is not that many more years until she is a pile of bones herself. She felt herself relax in the process. She wanted to know the Love that loves her so. She let it come near to her. She would send a present when the time was right. She left something down and out of her head and was at peace.
Memory from before time began
And if she had to go back to the memory before time when they were together and delighted in each other, she would. She was sure they were coughed out by the Great Spirit together and have remained in the same clan ever since. The end.
When Rose got up that morning she trundled off on her bike to the Farmers Market to see if she could have a loving crab cakes for her breakfast but the cooks forgot to bring for her their delicacies that morning. Rose had to let go and go on gathering up her greens, carrots, rhubarb, eggs and other supplies for the week.
She was invited to a poetry and pie party in November and she might bring along these poems:
1
Drinking tea at the red lights
It is raining hard
Student carries her sandals
Under her umbrella
Wet fit tan legs glisten
Out of short shorts
On stoney ground
she lifts her bare feet fast
Followed by long black boots
Soon gone from sight
After the rain the river runs again
He stands on the other side
One among many
Dressed for himself
Close fitting berry cap
Priestly and black
Short trimmed out dark beard
A chiseled face
Arms are biceps defined
Beneath a tight fit shirt
And slender pants
He glances at another
She glances at him
2
Dress for yourself
Just this once
With head beam
For the golden truth
Raining down
Oh that she could dress
for that slender truth
Not to carry the lie
Glancing to that alone
Glancing at another
Seeing that in them
That Love that loves them so.
The end.
Pictures from Rawley Springs
If you would like to work with where you are feeding your energy be sure to schedule an appointment for yourself. I am well qualified to help with this having learned the side step as a young girl in Ireland and now at this time pinning myself into the corner, into the hologram of truth a little more often. We both may find ways not to be withholding from Love. With love from Rose.
Rose Longworth Counseling 