She was sitting there in the sunshine, near the beach. She had made the annual pilgrimage to the water to get some carrageen moss, to feel the sea breezes and enjoy the August sunshine. The ocean was at its warmest, lapped about by the Gulf Stream as it came near to the coast, warming it into mild weather even through the winter. Her favorite seaweed proliferates there on the rocks near the water. She learned from her mother how to clean and steep it and place it in milk to be slowly boiled. It was lovely with a few berries on top and it set into a jelly, if left in a cool place. Sometimes Mariah just chewed on a little bit here and there for its nourishment. She learned to do this from the druid who carried it in his pockets.
She was having a hard time with Uishneach being home. She felt she could eat him alive for any little infraction. The druid, who also was at the beach, had told her to avoid having any outburst and to go in her own place and ask why she wanted to blow up all the time. Sometimes she managed to be civil and things might progress and a nice conversation ensues. However when he started to make fun of her or her friends or impose his politics or religions ideas on them, she did not take it kindly. One friend said “You must love him very much.” When he did it to her sisters, they just up and left with hardly a goodbye.
One night she was showing Uishneach some exercises she learned from an old woman who lived near the ocean. The old woman of the west and Mariah exchanged cures for their current problems and Mariah ended up with an exercise to try and put her heel down into her crotch area, to help with hip and leg pain. She was telling Uishneach about this attempt. She was about twelve inches out from docking.
She told him he had to try and put it in his vagina, just as a way of explaining where the heel was headed. He took offence at her suggestion that he had a vagina. It was only as a reference point. Besides his inner woman has a vagina. He then tried to put his heel very close to her nose and mouth. She could smell that feet smell that run in his family. She almost fell out of the sleeping quarters as she pushed against him trying to maintain her place in the bed and avoid the errant heel. She ended up on the floor and the next day with a creek in her neck. She could not stop laughing as soon as she realized she had pushed a little hot button, insulting his manliness. She seemed to find a lot of delight in triggering something in him. The shadow, her shadow may be what came out in that laughter. Her shadow is still laughing.
She found it so hard to do as the Druid said, to focus on her own bad moods, or her insulting mood, even as they were directed at Uishneach. She did not want to be the hardhearted ball breaker of a man inside herself either. Figuring out Uishneach was a pastime of hers. She learned it from her mother and her grandmother. Her mother told her of the time that she and her mother were out and came across her new husband mending a fence. They stood there. Then he got in a temper and walked off. That was his bad mood she supposed. The two women were still talking about this incident when Mariah was a child. The relationship between her parents was unconscious.
The druid said that if Mariah was in a bad mood then its roots had to be linked to where it came from in her. If he was in a bad mood she could notice it, walk away or address without getting in a mood herself. That would be the healthy thing to do. Her inclination to boss, to analyze and to be right, to laugh at, was painful for him and even if she is remotely right, she has put him off completely. He does the same thing to her but of course she is not in charge of his inner workings.
Mariah’s father had a tight relationship with his mother, being the child that helped her carry water and wood. He helped her with baking too. Mariah’s sweet mother could never measure up. Mariah loved her father dearly and her Uishneach would never measure up, if she were in that complex of father energy. The view from Uishneach shoulders was never as good as the view from her father’s shoulders. Getting up on her own shoulders for a view of where she was going would be helpful no doubt. The druid said one day he was going to bring a ladder for her to get up on her own shoulders. It sure would make Uishneach feel a lot better. Typical druid instruction. How would she do that? He on his part seemed to find this funny as she saw a twinkle in his blue eyes develop. Other times she felt he was biased toward Uishneach.
Mariah was trying to see, was trying to feel her own inner self, apart from Uishneach. She was trying to agree that her bad mood was her own and was triggered from some complex of energy laid down inside from parents. Her father was quick to criticize her mother. Was it as simple as that? All the criticism in the world came from a never-ending spool placed in there by the relationship between her parents and their parents. This is how relationship is done, you criticize each other. Maybe it was just a piece of the puzzle.
So instead of yelling at him from her complex, she could get out of it and speak in a civilized tone, accepting his late help to tidy up the place, to prevent an infestation of ants overnight. She could say her prayer; let all my feelings be filled with love; and mean it with her intimate other. Then she could put her hand out and place it in the hand of Uishneach before they drifted off to sleep, asking for the blessing of peace and love to be between them, to swim in that stream of peace and love all through the night. The end.
And if you want to pay attention to your dreams to tease out complexes, to sit in your own stream of love and peace, be sure to call and ask for an appointment. I look forward to hearing from you. Love Rose.